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Clinging to Pieces

Posted by on July 8, 2013

It was quiet time, when all through the house, the kids were napping, or at least, in their rooms being quiet. Yet, I was compelled to check on my oldest. I opened the door to his room, and to my horror, he had completely destroyed one of their favorite books. Obliterated. Gone. Shredded. Pieces of it were everywhere.

torn book

It was actually worse than this, because I started cleaning, and then I was like, oh, wait! I should take a picture! Who knew it would be blog fodder? ha!

I bawled, probably because I’m a writer, and I LOVE books. And probably because it was that time of the month, and I was way over emotional already, maybe. Then I ransacked his room. I took out his tent and all his toys, and made him stuff all the little pieces in a trash bag.

A week later, that trash bag was still sitting by the door. I can’t bring myself to throw it away. The other day I tried taking out the pieces and seeing if maybe, just maybe I could somehow tape it all back together. Nope. Yet the bag still sits there. Today, I was struck with why? Why am I holding on to this mutilated book? I can’t fix it, but I can’t bring myself to throw it away either.

Then a thought occurred to me. Isn’t that how we are with life? We hold onto broken pieces unable to fix them, but we won’t let go of them. We are unable to move on, the broken pieces clutter up our lives, our kitchen floor, because we won’t let go.

I think it’s easier to bury them and think, Oh, I’ve let it go, but it’s burning a hole through my gut, my heart, my life. But then I’ve become callused, jaded, no? So I had to stop and ask myself. Am I holding on to broken pieces? Aside from the plastic bag sitting next to the trash can in my kitchen, that’s been there for a MONTH now. Ha! Must. Let. Go!

Are you holding on to broken pieces? How do you let go? Because I don’t think ignoring it is helping me. Ha!


8 Responses to Clinging to Pieces

  1. Diana Montgomery

    I really enjoyed your blog. Kids sometimes I don’t know what they are thinking. It made me remember when I went in my son’s room and found he had stabbed my picture to pieces. I tell ya that has probably been 20 years ago but it left a mark on my heart. He was mad at me cause I wouldn’t let him do something. Like the book it is broken but we can move ahead with God’s love. I threw the picture of us away was not easy but then I didn’t have the reminder looking at me either.

    • jlmbewe

      Hi Diana! Thank you, I’m glad you enjoy the blog! I hear ya about kiddos. Who know’s what they are thinking! I’ve tried to stop and be patient, to try to see it from their angle, but it’s hard! Such a heart-wrenching experience! It would definitely leave a mark on my heart. I’m glad you move ahead and not let it scar you. I see a lot of how my kids respond in how I respond to God sometimes. Ha! Thanks for sharing! It gives me something to think about in regards to my kiddos and how they process things.

  2. Marianna Heusler

    Really enjoyed the blog – I do hold on to broken things -I guess I’m a pack rat, although my husband says I’m just a hoarder. I always hope things can be fixed, and I guess I hate to let go.

    • jlmbewe

      Hi Marianna! Glad you enjoyed it! I’m right there with ya. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  3. Kim Cleary

    I’m not a hoarder usually, but I have a few items that are precious to me and I’ve carried them from one house to another as I’ve moved. However I agree with you about life – I think we are the sum of everything that has ever happened to us and no matter how hard we try we either carry the emotion or our learning’s from them 🙂

    • jlmbewe

      Hi Kim! I agree. The other day I was just thinking about that “we are the sum of everything that has ever happened to us…” I love it when I come across people putting words to something I haven’t quite articulated yet. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Rhenna Morgan

    Maybe this was just a sad trigger to guide you to some new special something? For me, I always try to find some kind of upside. (After I give myself time to pout/grieve for awhile.) Make the goodbye special, then face forward so you can catch your next memory treasure.

    • jlmbewe

      Hi Rhenna! That was beautiful. I need to think like that more often! Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

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J.L Mbewe - Author