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Growing Wings

Posted by on August 26, 2013

Today begins a new season in my life. One I’ve been dreading, but I’m also so stinking excited. My firstborn starts pre-k. Monday-Friday 8-2:30. That’s basically kindergarten! I’m joining the ranks of all the other first timers sending their firstborns off, and it’s a whirlwind of emotions.

growing wings

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Oh my goodness! He’s starting school! Oooh my gooodness, he’s starting school. *head desk* I feel like Rapunzel stepping out of that tower for the first time, running around with a frying pan and without a clue. This is GREAT! This is horrible!

I have reasoned it out. If he had been born a month and few weeks earlier, he would be in kindergarten. Heck, even some of his friends are starting kindergarten, only because they were born a little earlier than him. See? It’s not THAT much different. And it will be good for him. BUT.

Gone are the days he was always at my side. Our time together has been shortened by 35 hours a week! Five years is really short yet really long. All the bemoaning I did for the lack of TIME ALONE has been forgotten. Such petty needs, don’t you think? Kidding! Well…sort of. 😉 Ah, then the grief, the regrets, the insanity we put ourselves through.

“Could I have done anything different?” asks the perfectionist. The maybes, the should haves tumble around like rocks in a tumbler, but we won’t find any precious stones there. I am a writer, artist driven to create, to express, and I did my best to balance the time between housework, writing, and family time, writing ONLY during quiet time and after bedtime. Don’t even ask about mornings. Ha!

“Have I scarred him?” asks the human with flaws. Let’s beat ourselves over the head some more, like that’s going to help. So thankful that love covers a multitude of wrongs!

As I wipe away the tears pooling at my chin, I have to stop and ask why? Why am I grieving like this is the end? It’s not. It’s only the beginning. My little man is growing his wings, and he will soon fly. This is just one step in that direction. A milestone.

This is the start of a grand adventure! I’m just a little late coming to the party.

Am such a mess this morning! 🙂 So, how many of y’all are first timers? Or are you a seasoned ship captain navigating these school years, perhaps facing milestones we have yet to even think about? Or are your kids grown? Any advice for the rest of us? If you don’t have kids, what other milestones are you facing, approaching, considering?

Happy Monday y’all!

8 Responses to Growing Wings

  1. Shea Ford

    Oooh! Contrats to your little man! We did Pre-k for the first time last year but it was only for 3 hours per day. This year was the big one for us! We started Kindergarden last week 😀 As much as I miss him every day, I’m getting stuff done! And I can focus more on working with his little brother’s learning. 🙂

    I blogged about William’s first week of school last Friday: http://sheaford.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/5-things-i-learned-from-my-first-kindergardeners-first-week-of-school/

    • J.L. Mbewe

      Hi Shea! Thanks for stopping by! 3 hours a day was what I was thinking, but here it’s practically all day, but it will be good for him. Agreed about missing him! I look forward to being extra productive! My quiet times have been revived! Thanks for sharing the blog post. 🙂

  2. gretchenwing

    Jennette, I have the perfect song for you about this. If you give me your email, I will send it to you. If you don’t want to make that public, message me on Twitter. This is such an emotional subject, and it doesn’t really change as they grow older…

    • J.L. Mbewe

      My email is public, jlmbewe(at)gmail(.)com but I will DM on Twitter too. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing! Looking forward to the song!

  3. Rebecca Minor

    It seems like every year is a first for something. We don’t go back to school until next week, but I’m watching it coming with wide eyes. I’ll have a first grader (how did my baby get to be in first grade?) a fourth grader, and an eighth grader. And how did I get old while I wasn’t paying attention? 😀

    This year would be the first that I could simply drop my little guy at the curb of school for him to walk in without any help. If I had to do that this year, I think I’d go to pieces. (They go in with their dad, who teaches at school, so I don’t have that whole “put them on the bus” scenario.) It’s amazing how we struggle to get through those toddler years and think we’d give anything for a moment of quiet…then once we get it, we wonder if we’re too removed from their lives.

    • J.L. Mbewe

      Hey Rebecca! Thanks for stopping by and sharing! That’s so nice your hubby was able to drop them off for you. My hubby went into work late so that he could be with us to drop our son off. 🙂

      I hear ya! And I really tried to keep that all in mind these past five years. It’s just…do we ever have enough time with the ones we love?

  4. Rhenna Morgan

    Ha! I still remember blubbering in the principle’s office. I refused to leave until someone told me my baby had quit crying. All I could think about was, “what happens if I get hit by a car and I can’t come back and pick her up?” (Morbid, I know.) We all made it through, though. The second kid? I was like, “Ya’ll have fun now!” and took off with only a second glance. It gets easier. 🙂

    • J.L. Mbewe

      Hey Rhenna!Thanks for stopping by! I so wished I could have been a fly on the wall. ha! But you’re right. We’ll make it through. Thanks!

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J.L Mbewe - Author