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Plot Twists in Real Life

Posted by on July 31, 2018

Photo by Lane Smith on Unsplash

Plot twists in real life can suck, but they sure make a good story, don’t they? Even in fiction.

Sometimes the road we must walk is not the path we would have chosen. A steep curve, a broken bridge, muddy ditches, an edge of a cliff. It doesn’t matter what makes us face those points along our journey, just that at that moment in time, it’s the exact opposite of what we’ve been hoping, dreaming, planning for.

And then nothing.

Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

Nothing but a great burning void. All our thoughts and beliefs challenged and set out in the abyss like spinning ripples of nothingness. A moment of no anchor, no direction. Just a vacuum of empty darkness. For one brief moment, we fear we will lose our sanity, our humanity, our soul unhinged.

But we can’t. Not when the world marches on and demands action from us. So we crawl forward, clinging to scraps of truth we aren’t sure we even believe anymore. If we didn’t, the abyss would suck the breath from our lungs.

It’s never easy when the journey takes us where we don’t want to go. We beat against the prison that suffocates us. Wrestle with bitterness, disappointment, and disillusionment. We grieve over what might have been. What we think should have been. We lash out and hurt others or ourselves. Sad-mad as Oh said from Home. But no matter how we protest, the path won’t change.

We must accept the consequences of our choices, our ignorance, or the circumstances beyond our control, whether or not we chose it. We can’t move on until we do, right?

Except. I’ve had a hard time doing that. I thought I had, but then people ask me questions and it’s the abyss all over again. The past two years have been challenging. A stripping away of lies and dreams. The feelings of being trapped and lost and confused overwhelmed me.

So. I avoided social media. I kept quiet and pressed forward, unsure of my path, unsure of how to even voice the maelstrom in my soul. I’d love to map out a career plan for the next five, ten years, but my path before me is cloaked and broken. All I know is that I’m here, working on Curse Bound, and will publish it when it’s ready. After that? I don’t know.

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

My day job will soon begin again, and I hope that I will do better at managing the challenges of working full-time, parenting, housework, menus, kids’ school stuff, and bringing y’all the conclusion to the Hidden Dagger trilogy. I’ve missed you guys, and I am going to try my hardest to not withdraw like I did. My goal this work/school season is to blog once a week. And now everyone laugh with me, because that is so not going to happen. Ha!

Two good things from all this. Growth. And story inspiration. More than fifteen years ago, I set out to create a story to illustrate the struggle and determination to overcome the lies in our lives. I totally failed on that account. But the irony of the story reflecting my personal journey is not lost on me.

Is your journey taking you down a path you’d rather not go? How are you coping? What are some things you do to help you to keep on keeping on?

6 Responses to Plot Twists in Real Life

  1. sparksofember

    One of the things Allen Arnold talked about in his class at the conference last week was seasons. We all have these seasons in our lives. I feel like I’m past the hump, slowly coming out of one of those seasons you’re referring to – those plot twisty side roads that we don’t choose. Taking them one day at a time helps. And a lot of prayer. And clinging to the family. Which all sounds trite. This too will pass but that thought doesn’t help when you’re going through it. I’ll be praying for you!

    • J.L. Mbewe

      So many yeses to your comment. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing. I so wanted to go to Realm Makers this year especially because Allen Arnold was there. He has some good insight into the creatives and their relationship with God. I read his book and enjoyed it. Albeit, the allegory was sometimes challenging to follow. But I really liked it. And yes, seasons. It is something that I’m having to accept. That perhaps this season is a time to put aside writerly pursuits (THAT doesn’t mean stop writing, in my case, but just the whole indie publishing scene.) Anyways, we shall see! Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate them and you!

      • sparksofember

        I remember seeing ads for his book but after the class I decided I was going to have to read it. He used a lot of video clips illustrations which was unique.

  2. Laura A. Grace

    I SO get this friend! I’ve thought the same of wanting to do a five-year plan, but I honestly don’t know where my journey is going either. Somedays it feels like for every baby step I take forward, I take three giant steps back. What you described totally fits how I’ve handled that with writing, though I hid it on social media. Right now, I’ll confess I’m tired (and pregnant lol) and feel I should be somewhere else with my writing, but don’t have the energy to get there. I realized that I needed to give myself grace and if right now all I can do is dream, then so be it because for the first time in so long I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that even though no words are being written, I WILL share the stories in my heart with purpose and meaning. (You know, not just the “I’m finally published!” thing. Haha!) Hang in there, friend! I know Jesus and my friends are a huge part of why I keep dreaming and pray you won’t stop either. <3

    • J.L. Mbewe

      Thank you Laura! I won’t quit, although I cannot deny the moments of wanting to! These shattered dreams will be reborn from the ashes once the fire finishes burning. Like a phoenix. <3

      Thank you for stopping by! And I will continue praying for you too! Keep on keeping on! And yes to grace. Be patient with yourself!

      • Laura A. Grace

        I’m so thankful to hear that, sweet friend! <3 I realized that I'm not going to quit either and that I won't look back. Only moving forward and focusing my eyes on our Savior. Also, thank you for praying for me!!

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J.L Mbewe - Author